Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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