So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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