walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
