Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
