the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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