yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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