im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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