i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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