i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
