guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
