"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
