I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
