Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
