I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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