i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
