I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
