He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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