is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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