I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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