home. puking in laundry basket.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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