what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
