Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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