Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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