She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
