Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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