Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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