whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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