Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
