I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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