He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The struggles of a small town man whore
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
