I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I looked at my own cervix.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize