Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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