since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
