dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
