At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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