cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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