i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
