So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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