he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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