mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
