Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize