return my video game
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
