I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
