i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
