I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
