I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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