I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
