Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
