so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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