What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
