i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
