Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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