So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
