I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
