Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
