I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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