The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i think i just lost a toe
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
