Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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