I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
