dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize