is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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