the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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