I'm drive I can fine osifer
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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