I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
