just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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