Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless

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(317): View more from Indiana

we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar

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(970): View more from Colorado

Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?

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(585): View more from New York

I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.

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(415): View more from California

turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.

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