How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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