it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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