i used baking grease as lip gloss
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
