I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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