Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
