woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Randomize